Let It Rain

Right now is a really good time to go make your first HMB argument. Already made one? Go make another one. Go make six of them and link them all together in a loop so your readers will get lost in the abyss of the internets.

Goooo! Do it! Go right now, make a lens stating that Betamax was wayyyy better than VHS. Tell the world how you feel. Be the first to make a HMB lens about who McCain should pick as VP.

Go crack us up, start an argument that dinosaurs with jetpacks are the biggest threat to America. DINOSAURS WITH JETPACKS ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS!!

What do you care about? What makes you laugh? Come on, let us know. Hell, feed my self obsession. Go make a lens stating “famousmortimer shouldn’t post on his blog when he is drunk” and beat us over the head with your point. With this hangover and my hate of that post I would probably agree with you.

Go make a lens about anything. Make one for your office saying “Shirley in account is the biggest jerk” and mail the link to your office mates and see if they agree or disagree.

Right now is a really good time to do this. It’s really, really easy. Hell I made one last night I couldn’t even see straight! Go give it a shot, see what happens. And if you do let me know, I wanna check it out.

Alcohol = Finding my Grammar mistakes? Huh?

I’ve talked about a lot of things on here so far. Gun control, Bright Eyes, and even Kirk Vs Picard which you all have ignored. Wait, that sentence came out wrong. You have read them all, but I made an argument about Kirk vs Picard that a bunch of you read but you didn’t go comment on which is best. That’s fine though, I’m cool with that.

Lets get emo for a second. I’m an anxious sort of being. Doctors tell me that I have an anxiety disorder, though we still aren’t sure what kind. I say “we” because I take great interest in the subject, have read books, online sites (totally trustworthy, I think!) and generally am always sort of obessed with my body and mind and am always thinking about them. At my best I am a happy person, great sense of humor, moderately intelligent and pretty pleasant to be around. At my worst I turn inward and shut everything else off.

That can end the emo. I talk about it out of compulsion, not out of reaching out. Though maybe my doctors would disagree.

Tonight has been the end of a hard week for me. It’s been a good hard week though. But I have some shit going on in my brain that I need to work out. Did I say end emo? I guess we have another paragraph. If I hit enter it will be two paragraphs.

So, yeah, it’s been a hard week. My mind gets filled with bullshit I can’t control, as hard as I try. Wah wah, cry more Mort. I agree, I’m pretty much sick of it. So my solution for the night was to get a big bottle of wine and play some Lord of the Rings Online and just sort of enjoy the night. It worked. Even though I am here writing this I feel better inside, which is good.

Do you ever self obsess? I do all the time, i’ve realized. I am always on this blog, checking posts, checking stats, checking where the links leading to here are. In fact someone tonight searched on google “Monkey vs Mortimer” and I was so psyched about this that I had to go google that myself. Funny enough, I’m the first link. Obviously they knew this would lead to me, but I didn’t know it, so it was cool. How many people google Monkey vs Mortimer a year? I’m guessing 9020302302 people.

Where are you going, man? What is the point of all of this? Well, as I was checking into all these stat type things I started reading this blog as if I was new. And, the first thing I noticed was a bunch of gramatical mistakes. I laughed IRL and then sorta shook my head. I comb over these pages day after day, looking for sentences I don’t like, grammar mistakes, and all of that such of thing. But here I am now, half a bottle into some very tasty wine and they are sticking out like sore thumbs.

The wine is to soothe the nerves (tell the emo paragraphs up above that I am back) and it is doing its job. We all battle with something and as far as I’m concerned it’s all equal. In the eighties it was all about tee-shirts that said Life’s a beach. I don’t think they got how deep that was, but oh well…

This whole voyage into my soul brought up a good question within me. Do you judge someone harshly for using bad Grammar or spelling online? The funny thing is, previous admissions not withstanding, is that I do. If I enter a forum, HMB Lens, video game, instant messenger conversation, or really anything for that matter… if someone misspells shit or uses l33t sp34k or does any other sort of nonsense I immediately reject it as rubbish. Small errors I can deal with, they happen to the best of us, but when it’s clear someone doesn’t have a grip on the english language I can’t help but judge them badly. I wish I could stop but I can’t. And to be clear, I mean people have spoken english their whole lives. Anyone new to a language, or that didn’t learn it as a child, is exempt.

This is clearly my own issue, but I think I’m not alone. I think we all feel alone in it. Like I hate certain grammar rules like that Grammar should be capitalized, that english should be capitalized. There are certain rules I ignore out of my own principles, some vestiges that hold on to the part of my soul that is against authority. But i’m 30 now and I just want people to use the fracking language correctly. At the same time I am against English becoming the national language. We are a melting pot, after all.

Yeah, I am confused. Aren’t we all? If you aren’t, you might be Fred Phelps’ Granddaughters which, somehow, give valley girls a bad name.

They aren’t all that confused, though when the left valley brat pulled the face of the right one back, I saw some anguish. Maybe I am emo.

Anyfuckingway, the point is that language is key. I mean we have to freaking communicate, right? It’s like driving on a road, follow the rules! There are times when you are alone or not near others and you might be able to bend the rules, but when around others follow the rules. We don’t have time to keep up with what the frack you are saying.

Don’t agree? Please, please, please let me know. If you do agree I think you already clicked the link.

** As a side note, I’m not even gonna go up and check my Grammar or spelling mistakes, making my stance on this all the more laughable.

*** So the question becomes do you trust me even though I am sure there are Grammar mistakes up above? Am I opperating on weird levels where I spell shit wrong on purpose? Or do I do it by accident and it just comes off as smarts? Or have you read this as you are a damn hypocrit and you are trying to cover mistakes you dickface famousmortimer.

Speaking other tongues is tough, to be fair I must admit I got atleast D’s, sometimes F’s, learning everything from spanish to latin. But I at least try to get my own correctly (when i care). Am I a dick?